I’ve never thought of myself as an exceptionally good writer. I’ve been posting my thoughts online for almost 20 years (insert comment about how the hell it’s been THAT long) and I’ve participated — and finished! — Nanowrimo multiple times, but I still don’t consider myself a writer. Why is this?
I recall something similar in my running groups. “I’m not a runner,” someone in the group would say. “I’m not very fast, and sometimes I need to stop and walk.” I’d be quick to tell them that no, getting out there, waking up at early o’clock on a weekend in the winter to run 3.1 miles when everyone else is sleeping, makes you a runner. A slow jog around the block after work makes you a runner. Even a quick dash from the end of the driveway and back makes you a runner. What’s the definition, and who makes it?
Rationally, I should believe I’m a writer because I’ve written fairly consistently over the years, right? No. In my head, I’m not a writer because I haven’t been published, I haven’t written for a fancy publication, and because I don’t have millions and millions of readers. Never mind that I’ve been somewhat consistent. A person who runs every day but hasn’t run a race is still a runner, so why don’t I apply that same logic to myself? Why do any of us apply this logic to ourselves in our particular interests or careers?
I’ve been in my own head too much these days, hence the lack of posting here. I’m looking to change direction in the content I write, because honestly, I find it hard to write about crafting. I’d rather write longer form, honest posts on life and how I’m living mine, in hopes that others can identify with the struggles I face. These days I struggle with being single in my mid-late 30s, which I never expected. But, who does? I’ve been honest about these struggles on Twitter and Facebook, but after reading this excellent post by Vicki Boykis, I want to document more of these thoughts on my own space. Maybe I’ll lose followers, but I’ve wanted to come back here for awhile now.
It’s only March, but 2017 has already been a year of change for me. New apartment, new job, new experiences. I hope to explore all these things in this blog. I’m glad to be back.