31 days of writing.
I seem to have forgotten how to write online, which is strange. I’ve been writing for as long as I remember; I’ve kept a journal of some sort since the age of 10, and started publishing what I wrote online way back in 1998. Recently, though, I’ve sort of frozen up. I don’t remember how to express myself. I stumble over words and can’t flow from one topic to another.
I’m just out of practice.
What’s the best way to get better? Just doing it. Just writing, every day. It doesn’t matter the quality, not at first at least. Just getting words out there in some way helps and improves writing.
I know this.
So why don’t I do it?
Simple. I’m scared.
For some reason, I’m much more afraid to put myself out there now than I was 10 years ago. I’m scared of people laughing at my words. I’m scared of people making fun of my pictures because I’m not a stellar photographer. I’m afraid of my opinions being torn apart.
I don’t like this.
What’s the worst that will happen if I make a blog post? Easy. People leave me mean comments, laughing at my words, pictures, and opinion. No one comes back to my site. I lose the few people who read already.
Will this happen? No. I just tell myself it will.
It’s ridiculous how much we put ourselves down, isn’t it?
Well, I want to stop it.
Back in the day, a group of people actually found my blog and decided to make fun of me as a person on their public forum. I can’t even remember what they said about me, but it was heinous. And pathetic.
Do you know what I did back then?
I laughed. What else could I do? (Well, I also blocked their IPs. Reading the forum with all there ‘she blocked me!!! did she block youuuu??’ posts made me laugh. Oh, satisfaction.)
That’s what I should do now. Laugh. Enjoy myself. Enjoy what I get out of writing and blogging. I don’t know why I haven’t done this more recently on this space, with this domain name I’ve owned for the past 11 years. (Eleven!)
I want to do more with it now. Hopefully I will stick with writing every day this month so I can become a better writer!